


How I Met Kokichi

by Grasple



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Complete, Crack, DO NOT READ THIS IT'S SHIT, Especially the ending like seriously what the fuck, I loathe this, I'm Sorry, Just :(, Kokichi is a slut, Kokichi is absolutely off the charts, LIKE ITS VERY DISTURBING IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE, One Shot, Originally Posted on Wattpad, Reader-Insert, This makes me cringe and I wrote it., Writing this made me want to die, Written like diary entries, literally just crack, nothing graphic, reader in a stoner for a while
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-17 23:30:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20629340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grasple/pseuds/Grasple
Summary: You become infatuated with a fictional character, Kokichi Ouma. As an obsessed weeb, you decide to make him real. Will it work? Probably.





	How I Met Kokichi

**Author's Note:**

> :/

Day One:  
Today I found out about a game called Danganronpa. I will play it tonight. 

Day Two:  
I have gone on the Internet to look at Danganronpa. I like Kokichi the best, he wears a checkered scarf. 

Day Three:  
Everything checkered is now Kokichi. I even have my own Kokichi scarf and I wear it every day. 

Day Four:  
I have found a drawing of a lewd Kokichi. He is now my dream man. 

Day Five:  
I have started collecting Kokichi porn. I have a folder for all of it. 

Day Six:  
I have spent all night finding Kokichi lewd and now have enough to fill up two of my dresser drawers. I only kept the ones with big peepees 

Day Seven:  
Found Kokichi shoes today. I am poor. Could not afford to get Kokichi shoes. I have fallen into a deep depression. Kokichi has torn my life apart. 

Day Eight:  
Mom found my Kokichi porn and says we will have to have a serious discussion with my father in four days, when he gets home. She only found my dresser stash. I have seven others. Four days until dad gets home. 

Day Nine:  
My cuck boyfriend keeps telling me to change my background from Kokichi. I refuse. Three days until dad gets home. 

Day Ten:  
My cuck boyfriend still nags me about my phones background. I have decided to dump him next week, he will be sad then. Two days until dad gets home. Seven days until I leave my cuck boyfriend. 

Day Eleven:  
One day until dad gets home to discuss porn. I have become addicted to weed. I have stashed the weed in my dirty jeans. My mom never does my laundry so it won't be found. One day until dad gets home. Six days until I leave my cuck boyfriend. 

Day Twelve:  
My cuck boyfriend has slapped me today in an act of domestic violence. I have decided to kill him, as a break up would not suffice. My dad came home today and told me he was disappointed that I hid porn that wasn't of a woman. I have decided he is no longer my father. One day until my cuck boyfriend dies. 

Day Thirteen:  
I have killed my cuck boyfriend. He will no longer stand in the way of my love for Kokichi. I made sure to leave no evidence. 

Day Fourteen:  
My cuck boyfriend is in the news today. He died from strangulation. There was no suspect. 

Day Fifteen:  
I wish Kokichi was real. 

Day sixteen:  
I went to Walmart today and a girl yelled 'Kokichi Scarf!' at me and now we have become friends. Her name is Kim. Kim and I played Danganronpa together today. She is a cool person. 

Day Seventeen:  
Kim and I went shopping together. We bought checkered clothes. 

Day Eighteen:  
Kim and I have decided She is my best friend. Our relationship had risen a notch. 

Day Nineteen:  
Kim got a haircut and dyed her hair purple. She looks nice in a checkered scarf. 

Day Twenty:  
Kim admitted she found me attractive. I liked her hair that day. It complemented her scarf. 

Day Twenty-One:  
Kim and I have become friends with benefits. Our relationship had risen a notch. I now refer to her as Kimkichi. Our mutual love for Kokichi has led us to role play every night. 

Day Twenty-Two:  
My relationship with Kimkichi is going good. I am running low on weed. I haven't seen my dealer in a while, and he had raised his prices significantly. I will need a disguise for the next time I see him. I have three days until I run out of weed. 

Day Twenty-Three:  
Kimkichi and I went to the store to buy a disguise. She wants some weed as well. I told her to just tag along this time and I'll let her have some of my weed to see if she wants to commit. We got big triangular sunglasses and baggy sweaters. I have two days until I run out of weed. 

Day Twenty-Four:  
Today Kimkichi confessed she had romantic feelings for me. I am filled with disgust. I told her Kokichi is the only person for me. She said she understood and she told me she had a Kokichi cosplay ready for tonight if I was up to it. I want Kokichi to be real. I accepted. One day until I run out of weed. 

Day Twenty-Five:  
Today I met with my drug dealer. Kimkichi could not come. He recognized me and charged me with big prices. I could not afford the weed. I am suffering from withdrawal. 

Day Twenty-Six:  
Kimkichi bought me weed. I am no longer suffering from withdrawal. She made them into brownies and I put them in my fridge. 

Day Twenty-Seven:  
My ex-dad ate the pot brownies. My mom is outraged. She is currently filing for a divorce. 

Day Twenty-Eight:  
Last night Kokichi came to me in a dream, telling me to stop doing weed. He said he was disappointed in me. I have decided to get myself off of weed. 

Day Twenty-Nine:  
My mom has almost finished the file for divorce work. Tomorrow she will divorce my ex-dad. I must tell her the truth, and that it was my weed. 

Day Thirty:  
Before mom left, I told her it was my weed. I told her I was trying to stop. My hands shook from withdrawal. I gave her my weed and she got me some therapy. My mom is still married to my ex-dad. 

Day Thirty-One:  
Therapy went good. My ex-dad found out my mother was going to divorce him and is angry. He threatens to leave her to see how she likes it. I found him tonight filing a divorce paper. It is all my fault. 

Day Thirty-Two:  
Kimkichi shows me her new hairstyle. It looks like Kokichi's. I love her hair, it fills me with joy. My ex-dad filed the divorce papers and there is one day until my mom and ex-dad fight for child custody. My mom will win because I have disowned my dad already. He shouldn't have scolded me for having male porn. 

Day Thirty-Three:  
Kimkichi is moving away. I will miss her and her cosplay skills. My ex-dad has won my child custody. I do not think of him as my father. He will have to die. 

Day Thirty-Four:  
I have killed my ex-dad. The police came to investigate and found me asleep in my bed. They awoken me and told me my ex-dad was dead. I cried fake tears and they do not think it was me. His throat was slit open. They investigated and found no evidence. There are no suspects. 

Day Thirty-Five:  
My mom now has custody of me. My ex-dad is dead. Life would be perfect if Kokichi was real. I don't even have Kimkichi for much longer. I put more effort in tonight. 

Day Thirty-Six:  
Kimkichi has moved away. I am sad. I am working on a way to make Kokichi real. I think it will be done in a month. Thirty-one days until Kokichi is real. 

Day Thirty-Seven:  
My room is covered from top to bottom in pictures of Kokichi. Thirty days until Kokichi is real. 

Day Thirty-eight:  
Mom asked me why I liked the purple haired guy. I can't believe she doesn't know who Kokichi is. I let her play Danganronpa. Twenty-nine days until Kokichi is real. 

Day Thirty-Seven:  
Mom has became obsessed with Nagito Komaeda. I do not know why she likes fingers in his ass guy. Twenty-eight days until Kokichi is real. 

Day Thirty-Eight:  
Mom has begged me to make Nagito real as well as Kokichi. This will halt progress. I told her I would if she helped me. I have recruited mom as a helper. Twenty-four days until the machine is complete. 

Day Thirty-Nine:  
I have decided to attempt to recruit more helpers. I put up an ad on Craigslist seeking help, the payment being one fictional character being real. It is sure to work. Twenty-three days until the machine is complete. 

Day Forty:  
I have a potential helper. I asked them if they wanted a dangenronpa character. They are yet to respond. Twenty-two days until the machine is complete. 

Day Forty-One:  
Still no response. Twenty-one days until the machine is complete. 

Day Forty-Two:  
Still no response. One more person replied. I asked them if it was a dangenronpa character. They said yes. I told them yes. They will arrive tomorrow. I theorize this will take off four days of labour. Sixteen days until the machine is complete. 

Day Forty-Three:  
I got a response. They said they played Danganronpa to see the characters. They told me they wanted Kaede Akamatsu. I said it was a clear. They will be here in four days. The other helper came to my house and introduced herself as Chelsea. Fifteen days until the machine is complete. Four days until the other arrives. 

Day Forty-Four:  
We worked on the machine all day. I have all information on Kokichi to make him the perfect lover. The machine will take my Kokichi information and make a real life Kokichi. Three days until the helper arrives. Fourteen days until the machine is complete. 

Day Forty-Five:  
The helper who isn't here yet told me the character they wanted was Celestia Ludenberg. I told them to write down her information to put in the machine. I also told Chelsea and mom to do it too. Two days until the helper arrives. Thirteen days until the machine is complete. 

Day Forty-Six:  
The new helper arrives tomorrow. Today they online messaged me that their name was Danny. I hope it isn't Danny Devito in disguise. We all wrote down the information we needed and the machine is nearing completion. Twelve days until the machine is completed. 

Day Forty-Seven:  
Danny arrived today. I was relieved to see it was not Danny Devito. He said his last name was Tordia. He is very smart. This should speed progress by five days. He has his information on Celestia. Six days until the machine is done. 

Day Forty-Eight:  
Danny and Chelsea are getting along great. Their efforts increased at the prospect of the completion. If we all increase production it will take only four more days. Five days until the machine is completed. 

Day Forty-Nine:  
Danny and Chelsea are putting forth their best efforts. I am as well and I encourage my mother to work hard. Four days until completion. 

Day Fifty:  
Kokichi is almost here. Three days until completion. 

Day Fifty-One:  
We worked hard today. Now there is only one day until completion. 

Day Fifty-Two:  
Today was going to mark the day of completion but when we awoke Danny and Chelsea will gone. If my mom and I work hard today it can be completed tomorrow. 

Day Fifty-Three:  
The machine is complete! I have created Kokichi! He is perfect and we will make love tonight!

Day Fifty-Four:  
I woke up and Kokichi pissed my bed! It was weirdly hot. Kokichi has become the enemy of my bed. I told Kokichi that he would not tell anybody he existed and that I would get a boyfriend to not arouse suspicion. My mom and Nagito are getting along great and I fear he will turn into my dad. 

Day Fifty-Five  
My mom said she and Nagito were getting married next week. I am very afraid. In other news, I met the perfect candidate for my fake lover, his name is Thomas, Tom for short. He looks familiar. We hooked up. Seven days until I get a new dad. 

Day Fifty-Six:  
Tom told me about his brother Danny. I asked if his last name was Tordia. He said yes. I am dating Tom Tordia. I invited him to my house. Six days until I get a new dad. 

Day Fifty-Seven:  
Tom found Kokichi. Kokichi is now the enemy of Tom. I dumped Tom. Five days until I get a new dad. 

Day Fifty-Eight:  
Kokichi went and robbed a bank while I was out. He pisses the bed every night. It is still wet. Four days until I get a new dad. 

Day Fifty-Nine:  
Kokichi has become an enemy to the city. Three days until I get a new dad. 

Day Sixty:  
Kokichi hijacked a car and we drove out of the city. I will miss my mom but I love Kokichi. Two days until Nagito marries my mom. 

Day Sixty-One:  
Kokichi robbed another bank. He has become an enemy to the state. One day until my mom marries Nagito. 

Day Sixty-Two:  
We drove forever to leave the state. We are now in Minnesota. Kokichi eyes up a bank. I just want to spend the night in a hotel with him. I want some quality time with my lover. My mom got married today but I couldn't attend. 

Day Sixty-Three:  
My mom told me Nagito gave her severe gonorrhoea. She has been hospitalized. I can't believe Nagito has done this. Kokichi wet the bed again. 

Day Sixty-Four:  
Kokichi robbed another bank. They now know who he is. He has started construction of a space ship. 

Day Sixty-Five:  
Kokichi drove me to another state. He is going too fast and I think I could die. The spaceship is being worked on. 

Day Sixty-Six:  
Kokichi has went to Florida. He drove very fast. He robbed another bank and drove us to Mexico. 

Day Sixty-Seven:  
The spaceship is near complete. Kokichi is an enemy to the United States of America. He has a shiny red button. I was tempted to press it. 

Day Sixty-Eight:  
My mother has died of gonorrhoea. I hate Nagito now. I eyed the button today again. The spaceship is almost done. 

Day Sixty-Nine:  
I have known Kokichi for sixty-nine days now. Nice. The spaceship is done and I pushed the button today. I wonder what happened. 

Day Seventy:  
Kokichi asked me if I pressed the button. I said yes. He said it sent nukes to the states. I have nuked all of the United States. I can't believe I am now a criminal. Kokichi has been blamed for it and is an enemy of the world. We got in the spaceship and launched. 

Day Seventy-One:  
We are floating in space. We have three weeks of provisions. Last night Kokichi pissed on me. It aroused me. I made love to Kokichi. 

Day Seventy-Two:  
It is boring here. I have Kokichi so all is good. It is very cramped in here, and every time he sleeps, Kokichi pisses. We are constantly making love. 

Day Eighty-Four:  
It has been twelve days. Me and Kokichi sleep a lot. My shirt is soaked in piss, both mine and Kokichi's. 

Day Ninety-Three:  
We are out of provisions and I suspect we will crash into that planet tomorrow. We will die tomorrow, but I don't regret meeting Kokichi. 

Day Ninety-Four:  
Kokichi and I landed on a habitable planet! We landed in an ocean, but swam to the nearest land. Small humanoid figures found us and we are now treated as gods. I smell like piss. 

Day Ninety-Five:  
Kokichi and I are stripped of clothing. The aliens are all touching Kokichi and me. Kokichi looks angry they are touching me. He kills all of them. It was brutal and I am glad he loves me that much. We found their leader talking to a bunch of other aliens. Turns out they had contact with all alien species. What do you know. Kokichi has become an enemy to the universe. 

Day Ninety-Six:  
The aliens found me and Kokichi. We are taken into prison. The aliens observe out every move. 

Day Ninety-Seven:  
Kokichi and I move cells. I fear for our lives. 

Day Ninety-Eight:  
I watch horrified as the aliens execute my beloved Kokichi. I am next. I look at the body of my Kokichi as darkness overtakes me. 

Day Ninety-Nine:  
I am still able to think. I think of Kokichi. I watch in spirit form and the aliens redirect our now brainless carcasses and use them for breeding purposes. I am happy knowing Kokichi died quickly. 

Day One-Hundred:  
I slowly lose all thoughts and memories as my spirit withers and dies. I die thinking of Kokichi.


End file.
